"Pretty much all the honest truth-telling there is in the world is done by children."
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Zambia's Position On GM Food Intriguing
The position of the Zambian government on genetically modified food has always statled me.They say this and do that with regard to GMOs. For starters, Zambia suffers perennial chronic food shortage mainly due to drought. This Southern African country ...
5 Tips To Losing Weight With Convenience Food
While it would be ideal to make all of our own snacks and meals from scratch everyday, the plain and simple truth is that most of us simply don't have that kind oftime. This is where we turn to convenience foods to meet our dietary and weight loss needs. ...
Coffee is Health Food
That's right! Turns out that your daily cup of Joe is rich in health giving anti-oxidents. Scientists now believe that coffee has the same benefits as eating a big, giant basket of vegetables and fruits, maybe even a couple of baskets. Recent studies have ...
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I'm sure some of ya'll are wondering, "Ed, why are you up at this time of the night?" And the answer is very simple - I'm an idiot. A pure-T, grade A idiot. I'm so stupid that I make the guy that runs North Korea look like Einstein. Or better yet, Einstein and da Vinci put together.
The reason why I'm writing a column at 3:34 am in the morning? It's really quite simple. I was over in Jones County earlier this evening speaking to a group. The meeting started at 7 pm, and since I had worked out at the Wellness Center beforehand, I really wasn't very hungry during the meeting. Consequently, I didn't eat much while I was there.
As fate would have it, when the meeting ended, around 8:30 pm or so, I started noticing that I was getting hungry. As a result, I said my goodbyes, got in the car, and started driving back to Macon. And in the ten minutes or so that it took me to get there, I decided I wanted some Mexican food.
Mexican food. At nine pm at night. I love Mexican food, but I'm wondering what sort of stupidity demon lodged itself into my brain. Whatever it was, it caused me to pull into a Mexican restaurant and consume the following:
One small guacamole salad.
Two tacos.
One chile relleno.
One order of refried beans.
One order of spanish rice.
Even more guacamole on the side to dip the chips in.
Oh, and the salsa for those chips. Nice, hot, spicy salsa.
I know what ya'll are thinking. But the bad part is, it gets even worse. For some reason, I was still hungry after eating such a large dinner. Therefore, I decided that a good, old fashioned banana split would be just the thing to top things off. I proceeded to cruise on over to the nearest Dairy Queen, where I ordered and inhaled a banana split. I mean it, I socked it down in less than five minutes. After that, I went home, my belly full and a tad proud of myself, like I'd snuck one over on Deb or something. I then took a quick shower, got into bed, and went to sleep. Until now.
Why do I do stuff like this? I've basically declared citizenship in the bathroom for the past half hour, and I may never eat another banana split again. My stomach is growling like a small animal is being tortured inside it. Also, for some strange reason, my upper lip is sweating, and it even feels like my hair is hurting. I've mentally cussed myself for the past hour or so, and I still feel rotten. Please excuse me...
...I'm back - just reacquainted myself with the bathroom again. Sometimes, the most rotten experiences can lead you to the most profound revelations, and I've learned the following from this one:
- Never, ever, eat salsa and follow it up with ice cream. Never. You might as well eat the creosote off a fence in terms of how good it is for you, in fact, it's probably better for you.
- When your stomach starts rumbling really bad, never take the stance that if you lay really still it'll calm down and go away. What actually happens is that you go halfway back to sleep and then the mother of all pains hits you. And that's when the term "a quick awakening" has very special significance.
- Don't be stupid enough to do something like this and tell anyone. Worse yet, don't be crazy enough to write it down for people to read.
And there you have it - some self-induced angst, and some new found revelations. I guess I'll try and go back to sleep. It's four fifteen am, and I may be slowly rejoining the world of the living. At least my stomach has calmed down a tad, or I'm hoping it has. So goodnight, sleep tight, and don't let the hot salsa bite...
About The Author
Ed's latest book, "Rough As A Cob," can be ordered by calling River City Publishing toll-free at: 877-408-7078. He's also a popular after dinner speaker, and his column runs in a number of Southeastern publications. You can contact him via email at: ed3@ed-williams.com, or through his web site address at: www.ed-williams.com.
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 Ozarks Food Harvest wins top nod - News-Leader.com
The Ozarks Region Chapter of the Association of Fundraising Professionals is honoring Ozarks Food Harvest --southwest Missouri's food bank --with two awards today highlighting the organization's contributions to those in need in 2008. According to a ...
Research and Markets: Singapore Food and Drink Report Q4 2008 Report ... - Businesswire.com
DUBLIN, Ireland--( BUSINESS WIRE )--Research and Markets ( http://www.researchandmarkets.com/research/dbb1be/singapore_food_and ) has announced the addition of the "Singapore Food and Drink Report Q4 2008" report to their offering. This Singapore ...
Mobile food pantry draws hundreds in Elgin - Courier News
ELGIN -- Hundreds of people lined the walkway Thursday afternoon at Carleton Rogers Park on Highland Avenue in what may have been a reflection of the bad economy. They were flocking to the Northern Illinois Food Bank Mobile Pantry, many hoping to get ...
Cozy up to comfort food - Tacoma News Tribune
EDITOR’S NOTE: Drop-In Dining is a dining report about a new or new-to-us restaurant. Reporters drop in unannounced and sample the food, on TNT’s dime, then report what the scene and food was like. Have a suggestion for a drop-in dining feature ...
Authentic El Salvadoran food and culture at Mi Chalateca - Seattle Times
The music is Spanish, the singer wailing about being enamorado. Children dressed in their Sunday best munch thick corn tortillas and drink milky horchata as entire families gather around large tables at Mi Chalateca Restaurant and Pupuseria in ...
Food delivery drivers earn dangerous living - Democrat and Chronicle
Shuttling pizza from house to house may not seem like a job with innate risks, but pizza delivery drivers in the city have been robbed an average of three times a month in 2008, police say. Crime against pizza delivery drivers is a perennial problem ...
Food Sing 88 Corp. - Village Voice
Battery Park City (1) Chelsea (99) Chinatown (58) East Village (176) Financial District (32) Flatiron (40) Gramercy Park (10) Greenwich Village (59) Little Italy (13) Lower East Side (50) Meatpacking District (9) Noho (4) Nolita (8) Soho (63) South ...
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